Growth (Year by Year)

One thing that I vividly recall about my dad was his fascination with dates.

What I mean by this is that every single year that the anniversary date would roll around of a loved one that he had lost, he used that day as a day to be sad (and ultimately, drink himself into oblivion). I always found this to be so fascinating. As a child, I never understood the reason why – it struck me as so strange that anyone would choose to be sad. Why not choose to be happy? Isn’t that what those we lost would want?

So, after I lost him, I chose to use the anniversary of his death as a day of reflection and remembrance. That’s not to say I don’t feel the pain. I feel whatever it is that I need to feel in that moment. And I’ve chosen to do this every year so that I can consistently be reminded of how far I’ve come since that day and what it continues to mean for my life.

As you’ll see in the progression, the way I wrote about my experience after year 1 compared to later years is a unique example of the progression of the grieving process and understanding throughout. It shows the ways in which the lessons never end — there is no ending to continued growth, introspection, and truth found in our hardships. I think the progression not only the new lessons at hand, but also my increased confidence as time has gone on.

I choose growth. I choose truth. I choose for this to mean something more for my life. I hope you’ll follow suit in your own respective journeys.